The Differences Between Boys and Girls

I know that there are many differences when it comes down to Mars and Venus, but I had no idea how early in life many of these differences were actually present, that they are ingrained into our brains before birth.

I have noticed, on many occasions, that my girls are completely different from my boy on a primal level. For instance, with each diaper change, as we wipe Holden's junk, he smiles and giggles, as if to say, in a Beavis and Butthead kind of way, "Huh-huh-huh. She's touching my penis." He also flirts with every woman we come in contact with. Gwen was always more interested in boy babies but never batted her eyelashes and gave sideways "Hey baby" grins, and has since outgrown her preference to boys as she's gotten older. Holden loves to roughhouse. Loves it. The harder the better. The girls like to get physical but if you punch (not a real punch, just a pretend "I'm roughhousing with my kids" punch) them in the tummy they will cry; Holden will laugh. Holden is totally naughty in an out-and-out manner, like climbing up the furniture to get the remote even though I've spanked his hand, said "No" firmly, removed him from the area, and distracted him with another toy. He will continue to work to get the damn remote until I give him a time out in the ExerSaucer or hide it between the couch cushions, at which point he will just cry like a whiny little bitch. The girls are sneaky and manipulative (most of the time - Nora generally relies on her bullying skills while she refines her manipulating skills). The differences in how they are physically built I had expected but probably never would have noticed if I hadn't had two of one and one of the other at the same time. Holden's ribcage is wider, his shoulders broader, his pants fall down to his natural waist which is not around his belly button but right above his pubic bone (this kid has a beer belly already!) while the girls have a more petite build, natural hips giving them a higher natural waistline and their pants stay up around it.

After all that, I guess I was surprised how all those Mars vs. Venus differences would play out this early in life when all the kids got sick (every single child in our household is fighting a raging cold right now). Gwen woke up on Halloween morning with a runny, stuffy nose and a cough but has been in relatively descent spirits despite the congestion. How soon would the rest of the kids follow suit, I wondered... I had no idea it would be only 2 days later, though I'm not sure why. It makes sense where they all eat the same floor scraps and chew the same toys (this is why I have children not dogs - sometimes there is barely even a difference).

So at 9 o'clock last night when we noticed Nora screaming I let her cry it out for a few minutes until I realized she was actually choking on her screams and sobbing uncontrollably so I went in to check on and soothe her. She didn't calm down right away as she normally does, she just screamed louder. I started to get annoyed. After all, we had finally made the decision to sort and fold all the laundry that has been hanging out in the bedroom for 6+ months. After about a half hour of trying to calm her down and listening to her relentless cries we made a command decision to pick her up and try to sit with her in our bedroom (something we try not to do, we don't want them to get used to sleeping in our bed, but leaning that far over a crib gets old real fast). She sounded stuffy but I just assumed it was because she had been crying so much. Nothing was working to calm her, not even a bottle, she just wanted to be held and have her head rubbed. About 45 minutes into Nora's head-rub-induced-nap Tess started crying. It was the same thing all over again but with a different kid. We had already set up shop in our bedroom so what the hell, we got Tess and brought her in too. Tony took one, I took the other, and by 11 o'clock we had both girls settled and sleeping comfortably between us. About an hour later we awoke to more crying... Holden, our champion sleeper, was up and mad as a hornet. Tony was the one who went to check on him and just like the girls, he was in no way going to submit to our soothing singing, patting or rocking. Tony brought Holden into the bedroom, stating, "Oh yeah. He's sick too." All three of them were coughing, congested, and completely uncomfortable. We administered Tylenol and Mylicon to everyone, and after a little passing back and forth to calm Holden, we decided to toss him into the bed party. But, Holden being a boy, only wanted to grab his sisters' hair, ears, eyes, etc. Before we knew it all three of them were awake and screaming in our bed. UGH... No more careful whispering, we had to yell just to hear what the other was saying. Tony took Holden down to the living room to sleep with Holden and I kept the girls in the bed, where they had been happy pror to Holden's arrival. Finally, at about 1 AM, the kids were all settled and sleeping. The few overnight occasional wake-ups were easily settled until 5 AM when the girls woke up, sitting up, hungry, and ready to crawl off the bed. Okay, no more snoozing for me, out of a safety concern for the girls I headed to the freezing cold porch at 5 AM. UGH again. Fuck Daylight Savings Time. Shortly thereafter Holden awoke crying and Tony came back upstairs to join us. The girls were playing fairly nicely but Holden, being a boy, and getting back to my original point, was whiny and in need of constant sickness-recognition, sympathy, and pity from Mommy. TYPICAL MALE!! LOL

Regardless of Holden being a true Mama's boy and sounding 100% like Tony and every other man I've ever known with a head cold, the day has progressed well (so far, so good, anyway). The kids actually napped in their own cribs for a good solid hour, and are now awake but not crying. Wonderful progress!! I am going to go retrieve my poor ill little babies and soothe them with hugs and kisses and clean diapers. After all, I'll probably be next and any good karma I can give will help me get it back when I need it.

This cold seems fairly quick-moving (after just 2 days Gwen has already stopped sneezing snot everywhere) and hopefully it will be in and out of my house in a week's time. At least, hopefully by the time I get it, the kids will have gotten over it. One thing at a time, for God's sake!