ARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!! I am ready to call the Looney Bin. (I wonder how many times I'll say that in the next 18 years?) At this point, it sounds like a Sandal's resort where everyone drools and shits themselves but someone else would be responsible for cleaning them up. An all-inclusive resort where they roll your wheelchair right up to the dinner table and bring you 1-star cuisine and the most controlled medications on the plantet. Sounds like heaven... What would be even more enticing is a sound proof, padded cell. Do I sound touched in the head? That's because I am. I am a twisted individual.
Right now I have 3 babies that only slept for an hour and a half of their 2 and a half hour nap standing up and falling down like trees chewed by a beaver. Timber...! They are shoving each other over to get their dirty, sticky little fingers into the VCR (yes, we still have a VCR) or to chew on my laptop, and are crying with each tumble. Which is to be expected, but don't cry for me! Learn to retaliate already; you're 8 1/2 months old! I didn't do it - it was your brother/sister! Here's a better idea: take your nap for Christ's sake!!!!!!! Oh wait... it wasn't your fault you woke up an hour early. It was your non-napping big sister upstairs, throwing books, jumping on the bed, turning her furniture over, dropping blocks into her radiator, building an addition, or whatever it is she's doing up there to make so much fucking noise. I know she woke you up because she woke me up too. I am tired too. I wanted to take a nap. I wanted to feel rested so I could make it through the afternoon without cigarettes and Red Bull. But, that was a pipe dream. Instead, here I sit venting to a Blog because I have no one over the age of 2 to socialize with anymore and I am tired, cranky, and ready to pack up my car and run to Mexico all alone, with a shitload of bottled water, just so I can be warm and take a siesta. And the cat that keeps trying to climb up into my lap/onto my laptop is one paw away from getting sold to the local Chinese food joint.
Why is it that at 8 months old my children already fight with each other? Why do they steal their toys away from each other? Why do they knock each other over? Why do people keep telling me I'm so blessed but it still sounds like horse shit? UGH! My kids are getting cuter and more independent, and more interactive, which I love, and they are growing on me a little bit every day. But when no one naps my afternoons are hellish and by the time Tony gets home I want to strangle someone (think Homer and Bart Simpson style). We are cutting out the babies' afternoon nap because they were not happy about going down for that nap (20 minutes of crying for 15 minutes of sleep) and over the weekend their late-morning naps were about an hour before they started waking up so we figured it was time. Yea, so fun. Now they are horrible hellions in the afternoon as they get used to this new schedule, nevermind the fact that Gwen is a class-A brat with no nap all day. 2 year-olds still need naps!!!!! I would say she was just one of those kids that dropped napping at an early age, but she falls asleep within minutes at night, and we have to wake her up in the morning while she fights with us to go back to sleep. She needs a nap but this toddler power struggle might be one she wins. We can just start putting her to bed at 6 o'clock instead of 6:45 and letting her sleep until 8 am. Whatever...
I can smell a loaded diaper somewhere, which I have to change while I heat up bottles, get lunch ready, get my toddler downstairs, and take away all her toys by 2 o'clock, so I'm out. I'll be back later, after Tony gets home, to tell my tales from my day off yesterday and all the fun I had alone with my girlfriends. Ahhhh... if I can't be admitted, at least maybe I can invent a time machine?
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